Heroic Fatherhood

My son and I recently went to see Ironman. He is at the age where our Father-Son movies often involve superheroes or transforming robots. Anyway, Ironman was better than I expected, and I was struck by a metaphor involving the heart change of the main character, Tony Stark. Without giving the movie away, he was forced to have a power-supply implanted in his chest, which he used to power the armor suit he wore as Ironman. The somewhat ironic picture that played out over the movie was that Tony Stark became more fully human with his implanted power supply (his changed heart) and his mechanized armor suit than he had been previously. He had been extremely self-centered, indulgent and childishly unconcerned about his impact on others. While his transformation was far from complete, he became much more aware, involved and concerned for others, and he began to use his abilities to protect and benefit those he once carelessly neglected and harmed. I think that is a bit like the transformation men need to undergo to become heroic fathers.

While we don't need miniature "arc reactors" in our chests to empower us, we do need new hearts and God's Spirit. Thankfully, God promises to give us just that through His prophet Ezekiel, who wrote “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put My Spirit in you and move you to follow My decrees and be careful to keep My laws”- Ezekiel 36:26-27. When we receive God's gift of saving grace through faith in the finished work of Jesus Christ, His Holy Spirit indwells us and empowers us to live new God-centered lives. Thus, God-centered heroic fatherhood is not something we muster up in our strength. Rather, it is something God does in and through us as we rely on His infinite strength and wisdom. With that in mind, let's look at two short verses Paul wrote to men in the church at Corinth and consider how they apply to fathers today.

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. Do everything in love” – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14.

To be heroic fathers, we first need to be on guard or more literally to "watch" our children. Particularly when they are young, our children often say, "Watch me...watch this," and God says the same thing, "Watch them...watch that!" So, from above and below we are getting the same message - give our children our attention. Be aware and get involved. Guard them and guide them into truth and righteousness, which also requires us to stand firm in the faith. We are to stand like dams against the rising waters of worldliness protecting the generations downstream. If we give a bit here and give a bit there rather than doing the hard work of anchoring our faith through serious Bible study, vigorous prayer and sincere obedience, the little leaks that come through our little lapses will soon undermine our integrity altogether and quite likely allow our children to be swept away. So, heroic dads need to be on guard, to stand firm in the faith, and we need to be strong and courageous, which is the same admonition God repeatedly gave Joshua as he prepared to lead God's people into the Promised Land. Fathers need the same qualities to lead our children to take possession of God's best for their lives.

This is written in a passive voice, which does not seem to fit a call to be strong. Here is why. We could translate it "be strengthened" instead of be strong. The idea is that we are to be strong in the Lord and in His might. His strength is made perfect in our humble dependence. As we walk humbly with God and live honestly in His light, He empowers us to live and to parent courageously. As Proverbs 28:1 observes, "The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion." We are to father our children with bold courage relying on the Lord's might, which may very well mean taking unpopular stands and consistently enforcing corrective discipline for their benefit, but we are never to do anything that is unloving toward our children in anyway. We need to constantly assure our children that they can never lose our love even when they blow it big time. We are to do everything, even punish, in love, which means at least making sure your children understand why they are being punished and lovingly restoring them in the aftermath. I also find reviewing 1 Corinthians 13 and asking "Am I being patient?...kind?...polite?...gracious? etc." helps keep me on the path. Personally, I have a long way to go to become a heroic dad. I thank God for the privilege of parenting the precious children He has given us, and I pray by His enabling to increasingly become the heroic father He calls all dads to be. I pray the same for you.